I don’t know how to say it

Sometimes it helps to focus the attention on the feeling that emerges when we describe the problematic situation, to hear inside for the words that then arise, to observe the accompagnying visual images, etc. The beautiful approach known as “Focusing” helps us to make sense of a “felt response”, first experienced vaguely, a response to “something in our life” which demands more attention from us. When we turn our attention to this bodily-felt response, what was first fuzzy becomes more clear, and what before we had “hidden under the carpet” can now be reviewed with new eyes. Although sometimes this new “diagnosis” presents us an unexpected challenge, we will also feel a soothing relief when we welcome these body signals and give these the “right” words, that is : the words which resonate with this feeling. It is as if something in us says: “Finally I’m well heard! Finally I feel welcomed”.
But … this Focusing approach is not the best gateway for everyone … When this is the case, what can help is that the therapist helps you discover that, in order to describe what is happening in you, you use metaphors like “it’s a weight on my chest”, “there is a knot in my belly”, “I’m at a dead end / in front of a wall / an abyss”, “I feel stuck”, “it’s heavy”, “it is inaccessible, as if behind a wall”, “it is as if he thinks he is a god”, ‘she behaves like a diva”, “it is as if there is a bomb in me”, “I would disappear into …” , “I became a robot”, “duties pile up”, etc.
As strange as it may seem when one observes it from outside, when this metaphor is explored in more concrete detail, you’ll discover not only how this metaphor is relevant, but you’ll also discover previously unknown elements which can show you surprising and creative solutions. And most importantly, you learn how good it feels when your body and mind begin to “cooperate” in this way, and how it helps to see clearly “to where you want to go”.
Among the non-negligible “side effects” of this approach can be mentioned: the development of a greater sense of humor, even in the face of difficult situations, as well as an effective creativity.

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